"THE RHYME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER" AND "THE 'RIME' OF THE MODERN 'ASTRONUT' (M. ABBOTT LEWIS)
“I feare thee Modern ‘Cosmonut’! The NASA Official feareth the smart-ass I feare thee are a schmucky nut! Shuttleperson bugging him thusly. But For thou art long, lank and lean the “Astronut” persuades this fruit fly Shaped like a septic tank’s starboard beam! from Shuttledom with a worn out Come now ‘Astronut’! Come clean! condom sprinkled with pseudo-scientific Or I’ll kick thee in thine balls! jargon of his unethical bombardment and For I have other business after all!” continues to nageth unto him. “Feare thee not by Lucifer’s left twat! I’m really not space rot!”
“Alone at last! On the vast expanse’s electrified turf. Stoned on the Martian Grass Sucking radioactive icicles and brunching On plutonium sassafras. Just me and my Bunsen Burner And all because of good ole Von Werner.”
“O fie! Fie! O me O my! What a life! How I hate this god forsaken sky! What I’d do for a piece of the corporate pie Or just a thin slice of roast beef on Red Chinese He protesteth against the Ambiplasma Rye!” chimera and its black bung-hole characteristics.
“Here I am, as helpless as a wingless bumble bee A stupid Schnook upon the ironic sea. I turned to Hell And commenced to yell!” ‘Santa Claus was not dead He simply converted to a holographic bedspread.’ At that self-same moment Me self-same-self Took an aspirin And swallowed my Neo-Synephrine.
I leapt forward like an oily Mexican Jumping Bean As if stepping from a solar wet dream. The God Fly fell from my oily loins Like a counterfeit religious coin.” His headache cleared upeth. His drugged stupor ceaseth.